Many viewers have been touched by the difficulties ex convicts face in movies like The Shawshank Redemption. "Like, that would suck SO bad! You wouldn't know what clothes to wear!" How does a man live in the free world when he's been trained in the prison system for years? Well guess what: Us college students face this problem as well approximately 2 times a year.
1) We attend an "institution". That lumps us in with prisoners. There's a reason that Father Leahy doesn't "let the inmates run the asylum"
2) I feel lost without the structure of scheduled exercise time (thanks to Warden RT) and designated meals that are given to me. Where are my dining hall corn muffins?! I have been living on Lean Cuisines and laughing cow cheese--
3) I no longer have mandatory work to do, I would say that pounding out history papers somewhat parallels laying bricks or stamping license plates. At the airport I felt an urge to stimulate my mind and buy a book on behavior economics, but since Hudson News didn't have this title in stock, I fell back on the next best option: Cosmopolitan.
4) I'm going to draw a comparison here to Tim Robbins's character. After working for eons and eons to dig his way out of the prison wall with a metal spoon, I felt similar after my hours of caffeine-fueled studying for my last final. When I finally escaped Fulton Hall on Monday, December 20th, I truly understood the euphoria of emerging from the sewage system and tunnels of poop into the free world
What happens now? I know not. I hope I do not end up like the old man hanging from the railing. Though I lack the social nuances and structured lifestyle to forge a purpose for myself in the next few months, I think sitting on my ass and watching more Netflix will serve me well in my blogging duties. I hope I will not let down our readers for lack of movie references and analogies.
- A Tale of Two Titties
- It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of drudgery, it was the age of ruthlessness, it was the era of single lady clowns, it was the era of sexy time, there were seasons of Kardashians , seasons of Teen Mom, it was the spring of killer tans, it was the winter of vitamin D deficiency, we had All- American before us, we had dead fucking last before us, we were all going directly to Heaven, some were going directly the other way, this period is unlike any before it, even the crankiest grandmas and emo-est teens, could agree, for good or for evil, this is the pinnacle, it all goes down from here.