Top 5 Jailbait-B. Baggins

After the positive response to our top 5 dilfs posts, we decided to apply our thoughtful natures in an opposite manner. We thus bring you our top 5 Jailbait guys. Yes, this is a touchy subject, but we insist that no minors were harmed in the making of this list. We have no interest in ruining the purity of childhood, and as we have learned from various prison shows-chomos (or Child Molesters) are the lowest on the criminal totem pole. With that said, here is my innocent list of my favorite U-18's

5) Lou Serafini--Could this little guy be any more precious? Maybe if he were his father: Rocco

4) Underage Leonardo Dicaprio--Not only can he make me shed tears in This Boy's Life and What's Eating Gilbert Grape with his outstanding acting skillz, BUT he also grows up to play Jack Dawson (Titanic) or The-Most-Perfect-Male-Specimen-I've-Ever-Seen.

3) Justin Bieber-He professed that he will by me anything and buy me any ring, so I plan to take him up on that offer. How this Canadian can rival Usher on the dance floor stumps me, but he has been endowed with that gift on top of a dulcet prepubescent voice. Try looking at the Teen Magazine section of CVS without being bombarded with his angelic image

2) Eric Matthews on Boy Meets World (played by Will Friedle)--Yes, Eric not only trumps his endearing jew-fro-tastic brother Corey and Corey's best friend Shawn, but he's even hotter than Mr. Feeny. Eric's light hearted spirit puts him miles ahead of emo poor kid Shawn Hunter.

1) Zack Morris (played by Mark Paul Gosselaar)--Although Boy Meets World trumps Saved by the Bell in its overall entertainment value, Zack Morris represents all that is right with teen television. Only in the realm of tv land can a hot, funny cross country runner exist (who is also capable of getting a 1500 on his SAT!) Though I'm ashamed to say that I got most into this show in the mornings during my senior year of high school, I was not immune to Zack's mischievous charm.

New Years Resolutions--By Dildo Daggins

New Year's Eve isn't merely about hosting a slizzard-fest in my newly re-carpeted basement. It's a chance to turn over a new leaf and begin the next 365 days with a clean slate and aspire to become the best person I can be! For most people this means purchasing a Costco size package of niccotiene gum, taking a break for beating your maid, or crowding MY gym for the first fortnight of January (the weak ones fortunately drop off quickly)

My New Years resolutions deviate slightly from the norm, but I hope to cover the many areas of my life that I deem important.

5) Hit up the lipyunj (aka library) only enough to graduate from my position as "laziest bum at BC" and to see Cory get kicked out for public masturbating

4) Refrain from some of the crude and perverted humor that I have been publicly indulging in on an increasing scale as of late. Fear not, I shall remain as verbose and inappropriate as ever under my blogging pen name "Dildo Daggins" and in the privacy of Mordor, where I reside.

3) Watch at least 75 of the American Film Institute's Top 100 Films   I'm already at 45 so let's gooooo!

2)Work on having a sprinter booty so I can run like a supple young 20 year old instead of the Grandma that I am. Best case scenario: I qualify for nationals and don't have to attend my brother's Confirmation!

1) This was on last year's list, and it is fairly all encompassing--
"Be less of a bitch"

the Many Dilfs of D. Daggins

Some things grow better with age. No, I'm not talking about the block of cheese that Wednesday Addams has left in our fridge since the beginning of school, I'm referring to Hollywood's aging A list men. I have my own, (almost mutually exclusive) list of my favorite Dads I'd Like to...

5. Clint Eastwood--NOT 78 year old Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino (though he was oddly attractive). This is 53 year old Dirty Harry from Sudden Impact. I would have loved to be around in 1979 for him to "Go ahead, make my day"

4. Pierce Brosnan--Though it is impossible for anyone to Hold a candle to the suave, sexy, sophisticated Sean Connery in Goldfinger or even in Darby O'Gill and the Little People, Brosnan comes close. He even belted out the songs like a pro in Mama Mia!

3. Paul Newman--Yes, my partner and I wholly agree on the sexual lure of the ghost of Paul Newman.

2. Johnny Depp--How could I not be turned on by the versatility of Sweeny Todd/Edward Scissorhands/Gay Pirate/Michael Jackson-esque-version-of-Willy-Wonka?

1. Robert Downey Jr.--What do I say? I'll let the two Oscar nominations and his ability to play both black AND white speak for themselves

Top Five Tshirts to land you on the Sex Offender Registry

Sometimes we all like to indulge our inner perverted, middle school boy selves. Who doesn't like to occasionally laugh at a reference to "Gerbiling" or the fabled "Cleveland Steamer"? Bad Idea Tshirts takes these guilty pleasures to a new, aggressive, and hi-fucking-larious level by putting these quiet dirty jokes on tshirts to be displayed proudly (all for the reasonable price of $7.50)! The idea of someone actually wearing some of these is pretty far fetched, but if someone grew a satchel and went for the most offensive possible, These are the top five they would choose:

5. She's Fat I'm Drunk It's on!

4.Santa is Coming!

3.I'm getting pretty good at masturbating

2.Ass, The other Vagina

1.Penis Tshirt
This one is soooo offensive (more so than the chronic masturbating claims and anal sex references) that this is the preview that BadIdeaT's posts in the offensive shirts gallery

Thanks to this company, you  no longer need a real boner to pull the "tucked vertically into the waistband trick"!

TOP 5 DILFS

Like Dads? Samsies.
Blogger, Wednesday Addams',  descending order of the top dilfs.

5) Bert, Although getting injured on a BC sports team sucks the training room provides some nice eye candy.
4) Antonio Bendaras, ooh muy caliente
3) Dennis Quaid, All it will take is twin gingers to bring us together
2) Kevin Costner, He wasn't the only one who got wet durning Waterworld
1) Paul Newman, Although he has passed you can still have some of his juices, and the proceeds go to charity.

Honorable Mentions: Liam Neeson, Johnny Depp, Robert Redford, Tim Daly, Christopher Meloni